[QCrit] Adult Science Fantasy, Carve The Stars (150k, 1st Attempt)

2021.11.26 23:41 lapisleaves3 [QCrit] Adult Science Fantasy, Carve The Stars (150k, 1st Attempt)

Hi Reddit. I'm helping my partner polish up their novel for Pitmad with query revision, and decided to take to the forums to see what there is for critique. Their novel is a neo-80s sci-fi fantasy in space, and the first in an epic series. Here's the current drafted query. (This is also my first time using reddit in this or any way, so apologies in advance as I get the hang of it all)
Dear Agent,
Wren Akane has spent all their life believing the aliens aren’t dead, only missing. After all, something made the graves out in the desert, and it sure as hell wasn’t humanity.
But a small town mechanic doesn’t get much opportunity to explore the stars. It’s not until a run-in with the lone survivor of a missing deep-space mission that Wren gets more than they could’ve bargained for in the form of an illegal race with the infamous Marek Khalid.
Breaking the law for a chance at revenge might’ve been a bad idea from the start, but trouble with the authorities is the least of Wren’s concerns when Marek and them manage to wake up the local alien ruin instead. Their reward? A strict warning not to trespass on the site, a killer migraine, and a hundred thousand voices in Wren’s head that call themselves the Chorus.
The Chorus doesn’t have any interest in shutting up, and it’s got quite a lot to say. Namely, that Wren is the latest vessel in a cycle of reincarnated celestial gods. And Wren’s been called a lot of nasty things before, but now they aren’t just the local desert cryptid but Soheil, the missing Solar Knight of Symphonia.
Marek is in a similar boat, but the two of them aren’t the only ones experiencing a sudden case of interstellar reincarnation. Though it probably explains why lately, Wren and their friends have been able to overhear each other’s thoughts.
None of them are afforded the time to digest a backlog of several thousand years of immortal memory before the ominous arrival of a foreign alien ship barely bothers with hello before levelling a cannon at Wren’s planet. Fleeing to the stars, Wren and the other newly awakened Knights have to grapple with the fact that not only have they found themselves part of a rebellion against an alien empire— it turns out that Wren may have started the entire war themself, a thousand years ago.
Inspired by The Expanse by James S. A. Corey and Netflix’s Voltron, CARVE THE STARS is an unabashedly queer science-fantasy romp, as well as a love letter to the 1980s complete with retro diners, magical aliens, and a cat named Crabchowder. Complete at 150,000 words, Carve the Stars is the first in a projected series. It is my first novel.
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2021.11.26 23:41 CertifiedWeirdo96 Alternate version to the one I posted two days ago cause this, too, is a banger

Alternate version to the one I posted two days ago cause this, too, is a banger submitted by CertifiedWeirdo96 to houkai3rd [link] [comments]


2021.11.26 23:41 joggingdaytime Fun open world game I can play with others

Hey! I see a lot of tik toks of people playing games where they're like, doing fun weird things with cars online with other people. I think a lot of videos are of gta roleplay servers, which from what I understand, is infeasible on a mac. Are there games that have this same kind of vibe that I can play? I have a 2020 m1 macbook pro, the basic 8gb ram model. Thanks and sorry if this is a silly question!
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2021.11.26 23:41 Traditional_Meat713 Thought I'd tell a story about confronting some of my cis straight white friends on my other friends.

Me: Sits down with friend group A
Me: Overhears friend group B talk about a kid who recently came out as trans.
(The trans kid is kind of an asshole that I used to date)
Kid from friend group B: "Ugh theyre so annoying about pronouns"
Other kid: "Yeah like don't they know there is only two genders"
Even though I don't like the kid, I don't appreciate transphobia in my friend groups, so I walk over to them
Me: "Hey I'm pretty sure it's three sexes not two genders."
Kid from friend group A: How?
Me: Sex referrs to biology like chromosomes, genitalia and hormones, and ther are three: Male, Female and Intersex. Gender is psychological and it is how we perceive ourselves."
Kid from friend group A: "I'm not sure about that."
Other kid from friend group A: "No there are TWO genders!"
*hold up two fingers like a toddler
Me: "I mean, you can see this when looking at intersex people, they are born without the binary of sex sothey have to choose."
Other kid from friend group B: *calls me a slur
Kid from a different table walks up to me: (he's a 4chaner btw) No there are two genders.
Me: *Gives same response but this time with 8 different sources
Kid: No
Me: Yes
Other kid: *shouts slur
Kid from friend group A: "Even if that was true why should we care?"
Me: "Because it's important for the mental health of lbtq people"
Kid: *Goes to Google and types "TWO genders"and says "The internet says there are two gender!"
*Every kid except me shouts and laughs
Principal: "Hey guys let's keep the conversations appropriate okay?"
(He thinks we're talking about a different kind of sex)
*Lunch bell rings
Me: "Fuck you guys"
Other kid: *calls me a slur
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2021.11.26 23:41 theflameingskull Ok so the first picture got removed for low effort but I guarantee you the second one that is still up took the same amount of effort really mods

Ok so the first picture got removed for low effort but I guarantee you the second one that is still up took the same amount of effort really mods submitted by theflameingskull to SMG4 [link] [comments]


2021.11.26 23:41 Better_Ad5355 Damn he's amazing

Damn he's amazing submitted by Better_Ad5355 to MarvelLegends [link] [comments]


2021.11.26 23:41 Maseworld Programmed Key

Everyone knows the dealership can program your key to roll all the windows down, right? Great for the summer when its scorching out.
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2021.11.26 23:41 StarDuckie101 How to talk to a guy while his friends are there?

Hey people, I am a (17f) and recently I got some sign that a (17m) classmate is interested. I want to make a move and talk to him like he did with me but everytime I just didn’t take him seriously due to the thought of me thinking “I’m not his people.
So basically, what I’m thinking is to talk to him during our school break next week (10-20 min). The thing is that I always hang with my friends during break and he hangs with his. If I leave my friends, walk up to him and start talking to him, would that be obvious? I want to talk to him but his friend is there, how should I talk to him while his friends are there?
I’m thinking about asking him for a charger then i would have an excuse to ask him about how class is going then his Instagram but while I do that his friend will be there which is a con.
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2021.11.26 23:41 KaeseKae AmEx Offer - $300 Statement credit!

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2021.11.26 23:41 stellaiscute Most brutal kill in season 10 (part 3)

View Poll
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2021.11.26 23:41 Garoseau I'm about to buy an MEPC, but I have one question, GTSR or G Hooks ?

All in the title, I've succumbed to this Friday madness. I'm going to switch from a Condor Chest Rig to a Defense Mechanisms MEPC, and I was thinking of going with GTSR straps, but the G Hooks straps look stronger, but on the other hand I'm more afraid of tearing the fabric part that holds the G Hooks straps on the Plate Carrier than breaking the plastic GTSR one.
What would you have done?
What did you do, you owners of this Plate Carrier?
Thank you for your kindness and your answers in advance! (From le Country de la Baguette)
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2021.11.26 23:41 bignewsforyou GameStop should work out a deal with the Brave Browser developers to default GameStop.com for the primary online shopping search. Hear me out.

BATUSD is the token attached the to Brave Browser. Brave pays its users who accept advertisements in these BAT tokens based on number of ads allowed. With the popularity of the Brave Browser growing, it would be awesome if GameStop could work out a deal with the Brave developers to have GameStop.com as the default online shopping tool. With every purchase made on GameStop, award BAT tokens as well just like viewing an ad.
Good for thought that probably hadn’t been looked at yet and gives GameStop a leg up on online presence.
The Brave Browser is also going to be the first browser with an online wallet built in. Could somehow tie that in with GameStop as well.
Just an idea!
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2021.11.26 23:41 BenGreat Cat in the hat socks

The celtics wear green and white striped socks as a part of their city edition uniforms. Do any other teams have socks as a part of there uniforms? I feel like I've never seen this before. Thanks!
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2021.11.26 23:41 Chris04401 Dynamix just listed on the ZT exchange!

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2021.11.26 23:41 obama-gunna WB Moltres raid on me

Add 6314 6193 6437 or 5762 5322 7528
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2021.11.26 23:41 politicaly_incorect How do you quit watching porn?

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2021.11.26 23:41 mbass92 A choice has to be made.

So I finally decided to get a next gen console and got an Xbox series s. Now I have a base PS4 and I’m at a crossroads. Do I get the PS4 or the Xbox version of the game? I know the largest player base will be on PlayStation servers but man I would like to see this game at its most beautiful too. What do you guys think?
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2021.11.26 23:41 throwboats Review #1240: Strathmill 16 (1995 Signatory)

Review #1240: Strathmill 16 (1995 Signatory) submitted by throwboats to Scotch [link] [comments]


2021.11.26 23:41 Plethorian Fancy Dress Ball, Royal Albert Hall, Circa 1930s

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2021.11.26 23:41 StaledRum Has anyone lived in both Phoenix and Tucson? Which do you prefer and why?

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2021.11.26 23:41 arcaderdude L o n g e r shenanigans

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2021.11.26 23:41 theNickHatter Ladies of Reddit: how many messages do you need to exchange with a man before you feel comfortable meeting him for a date?

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2021.11.26 23:41 Melkie_Playz Huggy Wuggy in the abandoned Playtime factory! 1 or 2?❤️😻

Huggy Wuggy in the abandoned Playtime factory! 1 or 2?❤️😻 submitted by Melkie_Playz to PoppyPlaytime [link] [comments]


2021.11.26 23:41 rippedcontemplations I ordered a holiday cactus from The Sill. It had very moist soil, several bits were lying broken in the bottom, and what was left is very sparse and droopy. Will this recover? Is this considered normal wear and tear for shipping or should I ask for a refund?

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2021.11.26 23:41 FORMUL4_FAN headcannon

give me a Haikyuu character and I will write a headcannon about said person.
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